Healing Circle

I went to a healing circle last night at my local yoga studio and it was magical. I have gone to one before and have left feeling really grounded. I highly recommend it. I NEEDED it to say the very least.

To describe it- we are in a candle lit room. You have a blanket and all you need to bring is a yoga mat and your journal. It starts with us doing some yoga work to get the energy flowing throughout our bodies. Trauma can sit in many different places so loosening it up really helps get it out. After that there was a journaling exercise- where you are writing about a topic regardless if you have nothing to say about it until the teacher says stop. That brought up so many things for me. I was crying the whole time. I always cry during these classes... It's my body literally releasing so much so I am grateful for it. And you don't share what you write down with anyone, whatever comes up is for you and the universe. I am at my most vulnerable state during these circles. Everyone is always so welcoming though. We transitioned from that into an intense breath work exercise followed by a meditation and then ended with a card reading for each person. This whole experience was 2 hours and I was completely exhausted when I left. I went to bed early last night because of it too. And what I took away from it was incredible.

If you have read my last few blog posts you know I have been in IT. Whatever IT is I am here and it is so uncomfortable. And I feel like I am still pulling myself out of it. So much came up for me during the healing circle. More so that I have done so much work on myself when I have the past triggering me I really need to take a step back before I react. Really pause and think about how far I have come, how much I have grown and realize that I am not the same person as I was 10 years ago.

Time is such a weird concept for me. And I never really understood why. Years fly by, I keep getting older, and yet I feel like things just happened yesterday. I met one of my best friends 10 years ago and it seems still like only 5. I was 22 years old when I met her and I am 32 now. 22 was just a wild year it itself, it was a huge turning point for me. She came into my life during the worst possible events (I thought at the time) and to think that we are still best friends to this day is just remarkable. Typing that out just baffles me and then I try not to spiral to think of how I thought my life was going to look like at 32 because we really have no idea! We can make a plan, we can try to stick to it, but the saying goes- "when we make plans, God laughs..." and that is so true. I had such a classic type A personality where I needed to follow a 5 year plan and stick to it and if it doesn't happen then the world is over and that just isn't the case.. life happens whether you plan for it or not. We can have an idea of how we want it to go but we have to be patient, understanding and give ourselves grace if it doesn't go the way we want it to. And that is where the growth comes in.

I've experienced so much happiness in the past 10 years. I've experienced love, loss, joy, pain, heartbreak, wins, losses, lessons, lessons, lessons. And to look back on it all, really look back, it is just beautiful. It really is. And I can say that because I have been through just so much and it made me who I am today.

Going to this healing circle gave me peace and clarity. We are here on earth to experience, to create, to live. It's going to be beautiful one day and suck the next. It is going to be messy and completely in line with everything you want. It ebbs and flows. It isn't stagnant. When something that comes that used to trigger me and in my opinion still does, I am actively trying to work on not reacting. Our reactions come from how we want people to act. If someone isn't acting the way we want them to, we react right? but what is that doing- nothing. If anything, it is raising your blood pressure, making you stressed and anxious for nothing. I am actively trying to seek out peace for my own well being to move forward into the best version of myself. I have grown from that version of myself that needs to react. I can do this. I will pause before I react. I feel like this is coming off as "woosaaa" like that seen from Bad Boys and Marcus is trying to calm down when Mike Lowrey is doing the MOST but I am here for it.

Same situation- new me.

I just feel like this is the way forward for me. In order for me to create peace in my life I need to let whatever is-be. And the only think I can think of that will help me do that is not to spiral. So maybe removing myself from situations when I feel triggered, setting myself up for success and not speculate. Trust that what is for me will not pass me.

I will keep you updated on how this new plan of mine is. Wish me luck lol #woooosaaaa

Until next time,

Bee